As a pre-teen in the ‘90s, the style of witchcraft I was exposed to had a very shiny veneer on it. Unless the point was to scare the audience, witches in mainstream media were very love-and-light, using their magick to solve problems and defend the defenseless (e.g., Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Charmed, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer).
Now, in what we’ve begun calling the Screaming ‘20s, things in the witchy community are…a bit different. It’s not that love and light have left the theatre, it’s just that they’re no longer the stars of the show.
Cord-cutting is about separating your divine spark from another’s, protecting your light from theirs.
For many of us, 2022 has ushered in our villain era. The era when we no longer accept less than we deserve. The era when we set and enforce boundaries for our mental and physical well-being. The era when we no longer stay silent for the sake of others’ comfort.
The hope in reframing how we act in the world is that those around us will make the effort to learn and respect our boundaries, educate themselves, and perhaps begin a villain era of their own.
However, this is not always the case. Sometimes, those around us actively fight learning new paradigms and ways of thinking. Sometimes, they violate our boundaries on purpose in an attempt to maintain control.
In these cases, it may be time to cut the cord, both figuratively and literally.
What and Why
Cord-cutting that both literally and figuratively severs a cord of connection between one person and another. There are many ways to do this, from simply snipping a thread to visualizing a cord dissolving, but one of the most popular ways is the candle method.
This method involves looping a cord around two candles sitting several inches apart and lighting them. The cord will eventually catch fire and sever the connection both between the candles and between the people they represent. Essentially, cord-cutting separates your divine spark from another’s, banishing their control over your feelings and actions.
Cord-cutting between people is usually an extreme measure taken when you wish to completely cut ties with someone abusive. This can be part of going no-contact with them, or a ritual intended to help support your efforts to do so. If you’re unable to go completely no-contact with someone, a cord-cutting can also act as a protection ritual that puts emotional and physical distance between you to limit their influence over you.
Cord-cutting is also effective for cutting away things in your life that no longer serve you, such as destructive habits or negative self-talk. In these cases, it’s good to add some things into the ritual that will replace these habits. This can be as simple as writing the new behaviors on slips of paper and burning them in the candle representing you.
How-To
For safe, effective cord-cutting, you need five basic ingredients: candles, a cord, salt, herbs, and a fire-safe plate. The nitty-gritty details, such as which herbs or candle colors to use, are entirely up to you and what feels right for your practice and intention.
Below, I’ve created a handy diagram with suggestions for what you might use. Again, however, the final choices are yours.
You’ll need:
Two taper candles
A pin (optional)
One tealight candle
Lighter
Fire-safe plate
Salt
Herbs and spices
Cord
Choose one taper candle to represent you, and the other to represent the person or thing you wish to banish. I chose pink for self-love and black for banishing, but you may choose any colors you like. Both candles may also be the same color.
Carve names, words, or symbols into each candle identifying who they represent and your intention for them. If you prefer, you can also simply hold them in your hands and imbue them with your intent that way.
Light your tealight and let it melt a bit. Pour the melted wax in two pools on your fire-safe plate, about 6 inches apart. Quickly set your tapers into the melted wax and hold them upright until the wax pools harden. This is to keep them upright while you work.
Sprinkle a generous amount of salt around the base of both candles. This is for protection, cleansing, and will help keep flames contained. If the salt pools around the candles’ bases touch, draw a line between them with your finger. Your energies should be kept separate.
Sprinkle your chosen herbs and spices around the base of each candle. Yours should ideally empower and protect you, while those around the other candle can represent banishing. See the diagram for suggestions, or go with your gut.
Slowly and carefully wrap the cord in a loop between the candles. How many times is up to you. Position the cord closer to the wick on your candle to help ensure your side catches first.
Light both candles, saying words of power or affirmation, if you like.
Watch the candles burn down, taking special note of what happens when the cord catches fire. Some cord cuttings are quick and simple, others take time. How the cord and candles burn represents both parties’ emotional and spiritual reactions to the cutting.
Engage in some witchy self-care!
As with any ritual you do using fire, please practice good fire safety. Make sure you're burning your candles on a safe surface and keep water on hand to douse the flames if things start to get out of hand.
If you do need to douse the flames, that doesn't mean the cord-cutting was ineffective. It may, in fact, mean the opposite! Trust your instincts to help you interpret how the flames were behaving, and what that means for the ritual.